Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The Party of Sperm Worshippers

The Party of Sperm Worshippers!




“The Reverend Timothy Tidwell, armed only with truth and logic, takes on George W. Bush, Ann Coulter, and that wanker Ramesh Ponnuru --and he’s the only one left standing.”

--John Stewart

Advance Praise for
The Party of Sperm Worshippers

"The power of this book is the force of its logic. Timothy Tidwell has given us the most significant statement on the need to worship sperm in America since Linda Lovelace's Deep Throat . Like Lovelace, he is calling America to return to its best self. And there is reason to hope that the country is listening."

--Leggy Noonan

"Timothy Tidwells's book will be accepted almost immediately as the seminal statement on human life. The Party of Sperm Worshippers is stunning as scholarship, ingenious in its construction, passionate-but never overbearing-in its convictions. It will be read for decades and revered as the most complete and resourceful essay on great questions that divide America."

-- William B. Fuckley, Jr

"Timothy Tidwell was once, like Ramesh Ponnuru, in favor of sperm wasting. Then he watched its logic unfold, was slowly repulsed, and then went over into resistance. His book, The Party of Sperm Worshippers, is an easily understandable account of the logic of sperm worship, from swapping to snowballing and beyond. This book cries out for mass-market sales in the hundreds of thousands, as the tide turns."

--Michael Nowank

"Thorough, heart-breaking, infuriating--an indictment that is also a cry for action by the people who still believe that sperm is the ultimate value."

--Cum Stain


The Party of Sperm Worshippers started with vasectomies but its sickle has gone from threatening the ejaculated, to the nocturnal emission, to the condom confined; it has swept from the spank mag to the back seat to a generalized disregard for "inconvenient" human sperm.

Sperm wasting came to America because many Americans felt that in some cases it was the least bad response to a sticky situation. Only a small minority of Americans professed to have no qualms about sperm wasting at all, to see it as no different from a bowel movement.

Many more people were persuaded that it was better for a man to waste sperm than to resort to coitus interruptus. Advocates of sperm worship said that as many as one million sperm were being wasted every day of a teenage boy's adolescence.

Many people continue to support the legality of sperm worship for reasons like these. President Bill Clinton was politically astute in saying that sperm wasting should be "safe, legal, and rare"--a slogan that pointed back to the blue dress.

There was some self-deception in this resigned acceptance of sperm worship, and some plain old deception as well. American women weren't dying by the thousands becasuse of illegal sperm wasting. And pro-sperm wasting legislation seemed more modest than it was.

The Supreme Court ruled in 1973 that "emanations and penumbras" from the Constitution protected a right to waste sperm. The Constitution might not explicitly recognize the right, in other words, but it projected a shadow that protected sperm wasting. Monstrous things can happen in the darkness. In time, it became clear that sperm wasting had "emanations and penumbras of its own in our law, politics, and culture.

Science has shown us that every sperm has a little man inside.
All of us who read this page were once little men inside sperm. The history of our bodies began with the formation of a sperm. We were those sperm, just as we were once water, carbon, assorted organic molecules, and Calcium ions. The formation of the sperm marks the beginning of a new human life: a new and complete organism that belongs to the human species. Embryology textbooks say so, with no glimmer of uncertainty or ambiguity.*

*1. "In this text, we begin our description of the developing human with the formation and differentiation of the male and female sex cells or gametes,..." William J. Larsen, Human Embryology, 3rd edition.

2. Throughout history there have been several "answers" to the question of when human life begins, but the only consistency among the answers is that they are always changing as social contexts change, religious morals fluctuate, or new knowledge about the process of embryo development is obtained.” Scott F. Gilbert, Developmental Biology, Eigth Edition.

3. "It needs to be emphasiszed that life is continuous, as is also human life, so that the question 'When does (human) life begin?' is meaningless in terms of ontogeny." Ronan O'Rahilly and Fabiola Mueller, Human Embryology and Teratology, 3rd edition.

For a more serious look at Ramesh Ponnurus' new book The Party of Sperm Worshippers The Party of Death and why Ponnuru is completely wrong on the fundamental scientific issues in question, check out this review by the Reverend Timothy Tidwell.

Oh! If you're not offended yet, watch this video:
Every Sperm is Sacred Not Work Safe!

The only blog inspired by a Bumper Sticker.

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