Elizabeth Dole to Carry “Snowflake Baby”!
WASHINGTON DC- Senator Elizabeth Dole today announced her plans to become the world's oldest birth mother by adopting a discarded embryo from a North Carolina fertility clinic.
Republican Senator Elizabeth Dole recently voted against a bill that would provide federal funds for embryonic stem cell research using discarded embryos from fertility clinics. Embryonic stem cell research which could be used to cure diseases such as Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, Diabetes, and to treat spinal cord injuries has been opposed by right wing extremist's like President Bush and Senator Dole.
Outraged parents, patient's rights advocates, diabetics, and people with disabilities joined members of North Carolina's burgeoning Biotechnology Industry to demand an explanation of the vote from Senator Dole.
Dole responded: "My vote today was a vote for life."
When asked how maintaining an unwanted, possibly defective, highly unlikely to be implanted into a woman's womb ball of cells frozen in liquid nitrogen at -200 degrees Celsius until someone gets around to flushing it down the toilet instead of using those cells to heal the sick and injured, could possibly be considered a vote for life? Senator Dole responded as the seasoned politician that she is:
"You have a good point there. Let me just check my talking points...."
After conferring with staff, Senator Dole announced that she would make it her mission to find a home for every frozen embryo that she and President Bush had protected.
"Every life is sacred. It is important that we do our best to find a home for every one of these itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, 50-celled citizens of our great nation. As President of the American Red Cross I led an organization of 24,000 volunteers to protect lives and clean up natural disasters. If each and every one of us do our part and pitch in, a volunteer effort can save these frozen babies!"
When it was pointed out to Senator Dole that there are over 460,000 such discarded embryos languishing in cold storage. She responded, "Oh, my! "
It was then further pointed out that only about 100 Snowflake babies had ever been adopted and that it was well nigh impossible that the remaining 460,000 embryos, even if adopted, would survive to become babies.
At this point in the rally a small boy said "Senator, my mommy has Parkinson's disease, her Doctor says stem cells are the only thing that can fix her. Why do you and President Bush want to flush her stem cells down the toilet?" Members of the crowd murmured in agreement.Frantic mother: "I have two kids with diabetes and one with chronic asthma and we ain't got health insurance. You're the only female Senator to vote against funding embryonic stem cell research, ya'll ain't got no kids, you want all these embryos implanted? Lead the way Senator."
Then a 12 year old girl in a wheelchair called out to the Senator, "Hey lady! Are you gonna adopt the stem cells I need for my spinal cord injury or what?"
At a press conference later that day Senator Dole released this statement:
"As a woman and a Senator who opposes stem cell research I feel I have a special duty to ensure that these discarded embryos are placed in good homes. That is why I will be going through the adoption process and having an embryo implanted in my womb."
Citing the example set by 66 year old Adriana Iliescu Dole said,
“Women of our generation put off having children to work on our careers. Now that I’m turning 70 at the end of July Bob and I feel the time is right to start our family. Taking massive doses of hormones and defrosting a couple of embryos seemed like the natural next step in our lives.”
"I will spend the remainder of my time in the US Senate growing frozen embryos into real live babies. And I will be encouraging other women to do the same."
Senator Elizabeth Dole recruits volunteers: "I'll find a mommy for every single one of those 460,ooo frozen embryos." vows Senator Dole.
Asked how he felt about his wife’s decision, former Republican Presidential Nominee Bob Dole, stated: "People always ask that ethics question about a baby and a freezer filled with 200 embryos well, if something happened to an IVF clinic and you had to implant all the embryos in Elizabeth or use them for stem cell research, I think you’d implant them in Elizabeth.”
Eleanor Clift notes that the “snowflake baby” program has been as unsuccessful at recruiting adoptive parents of frozen embryos as Senator Dole has been at recruiting Republican Senatorial candidates for 2006 with only 128 embryo adoptions so far.
Maybe Senator Dole could use a little help.
Here’s a list of “prequalified” candidates who should be more than willing to help out:
Rep. Blackburn, Marsha [R]
Rep. Cubin, Barbara [R]
Rep. Davis, Jo Ann [R]
Rep. Drake, Thelma [R]
Rep. Foxx, Virginia [R]
Rep. Harris, Katherine [R]
Rep. Hart, Melissa [R]
Rep. Kaptur, Marcy [D]
Rep. Mcmorris, Cathy [R]
Rep. Miller, Candice [R]
Rep. Musgrave, Marilyn [R]
Rep. Myrick, Sue [R]
Rep. Ros-Lehtinen, Ileana [R]
If one of these ladies is your representative in Congress please drop her a line suggesting she “bring one of these babies in from the cold.”
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